||[Jan. 17th, 2009|01:16 pm]
The Warcraft Columnist
The night was dark and unusually cold for a forest of eternal-spring. The wind was quiet, rustling the brightly colored leaves of the trees ever so gently. Eleanea was pacing restlessly in between the span of two trees, going from one to the other. Moonlight streamed onto her face, illuminating her already pale face to the point of being the color of porcelain. Her eyes were unnaturally bright, gleaming and glittering out from her face. She clenched and unclenched her fists, wrestling internally with herself.
Something wasn't right. Certainly not. She was beginning to feel insecure, her heart pounding, her blood rushing. Every time she thought of him, she felt frightened. Insecure. She couldn't help but feel that, even if he could come back...He wouldn't. Had he loved Scen more than he loved her? Did he regret being engaged to Eleanea, hating the idea of being in the arms of anyone but Scen? It made her shudder, made her feel like pure ice. She tried not to think of it, tried to ignore that absolutely agonizing thought. But he could love anyone he wanted...Eleanea couldn't change that.
She hated everything that could possibly have put him in more torture than he may have been in. Surely, missing Scen would have done that, right? Surely...Missing Eleanea would have done the same. If he loved her. If he cared.
Stop that, she thought angrily to herself. If he didn't love you, then why did he propose?
In truth, she hated the fact that he may have loved someone more than he had loved her. She had never loved anyone so passionately, so wildly, so sweetly, so truly than he had loved him. It made her shiver to think that he may not feel the same way.
The times that she thought she hated him swam in her head, making her laugh a dark, humorless laugh. She would have so readily taken him back, if he had asked earlier. The only reason she didn't bring it up herself is because she thought he hated her. Of course he would be happy to have had Scen, who never said that she hated him, who was beautiful and strong. Eleanea hadn't known Scen, but she could probably guess that she hadn't run away with her emotions, was older, more mature...More deserving of him. She knew he had a chance to be happy...if he could join Scen in death.
Eleanea despised how much these thoughts made her feel like a jealous, stubborn child. She knew he had loved Scen madly -- she would have given anything so he could have her again, if he would be happy.
All she wanted was some assurance that he did, indeed, love her. But it was impossible to get, and it drove her mad. She didn't deserve him, she knew; he was far too beautiful, brilliant, kind, perfect.
Suddenly, she laughed bitterly as she thought about how long Elves could live.
"If one can live for centuries," she murmured, "then what do you live for? A songbird, the eternal sun...? Obviously, whoever or whatever created elves weren't aware what could happen when the core of their existence is ripped away from them...Obviously, they weren't aware of how torturous mere thoughts can be..."